


A Better Day Ahead

by olderthanjoel, ThyDeviousViolet



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Canon Related, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:54:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24011635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olderthanjoel/pseuds/olderthanjoel, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThyDeviousViolet/pseuds/ThyDeviousViolet
Summary: Tess ponders the true meaning of her relationship with Joel.
Relationships: Joel & Tess (The Last of Us), Joel/Tess (The Last of Us)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ThyDeviousViolet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThyDeviousViolet/gifts).



> My first fan fiction ever and the first fiction I've written in probably 40 years. Many thanks to [ ThyDeviousViolet](/users/ThyDeviousViolet) whose work provided me the inspiration to finally get off my ass and write someting.
> 
> It's probably horribly presumptuous for an old man like me to write this primarily from the point of view of Tess, but she got in my head and wouldn't give up until I let her speak.
> 
> ThyDeviousViolet didn’t get added as a co-creator until Chapter 2, so don’t go thinking she gifted herself somehow!

Tess barreled through the streets of Boston and wondered for what felt like the millionth time why it had seemed that she and Joel were the only two people in the Boston quarantine zone who didn’t “know” that she and Joel were, to use Frida’s lovely phrase from last week “banging like monkeys.” God knows she was willing, but that man was… she still wasn’t quite sure what he was. The closest and deepest relationship she’s ever had with _anyone_ , and he wouldn’t (couldn’t?) give her the one remaining thing she wanted most from him. For _years_.

Well, two things. He had still insisted they have separate apartments. But he was right next door, and the walls were so thin in the hastily divided apartment block… she’d sneezed from the dust in her room last Saturday and he’d said “bless you” from his. He held her hair when she drunk puked (and wiped her face and put a cool cloth on her neck). He rubbed her feet when they came back from long hikes Outside getting supplies. She knew he cared for her. Nobody did shit like that for just a business partner, right?

Whatever the issue was, it wasn’t a physical problem. They camped out often when going to meet Bill for trade goods. They shared a sleeping bag when it was cold out (and sometimes when it wasn’t so cold). She’d seen, and been poked by, “morning wood” enough to know the parts were functional. Plus, she’d been known to peek when he was changing clothes. All the parts were still in, uh, really good condition.

She had thought that maybe he just wasn’t into women. Her gaydar had always been shit. But he didn’t look at men “that way” when they were out. She’d watched him closely. All men ever got from Joel was a threat assessment. The only bulges Joel looked for were weapons.

Women got lingering looks, her most of all. And he was definitely an ass man. She’d looked back when he was following her to see that quick cut away of the eyes that men that have been “busted” do. And, all modesty aside, she knew she did these jeans proud in that department. Walking everywhere may but tough on the feet, but it was great for the ass.

And he’d defended her honor.

A month back one of Robert’s idiots had gotten a bit handsy with Tess one evening when Joel wasn’t around. She’d broken his nose and a couple of fingers. Joel had heard her come stomping up the stairs and into her place and was there before she could finish shutting the door.

“What happened girl?” ( _Nobody_ called Tess “girl” – but when he did it she melted).

“Just another idiot, Texas.” (She’d seen him deck a man for calling him “Texas,” but he smiled when she did it. That meant something, right?).

His jaw set, and the steel began to appear in his eyes. “Just tell me what happened Tess.”

“I went down to Frida’s place for a beer. That boy of hers had his guitar out and was playing something nice. Robert’s boy Billy Ray asked me to dance. I figured: how many chances do you get to dance to live music these days? Shit, I don’t think I’ve danced to a band since prom the Spring before the outbreak started.” Tess had been 17 when the shit hit the fan. She sometimes forgot that Joel was a dozen years older.

He softened enough to give her _that_ smile (did anyone else ever see that?) and asked her gently “surely you’re not pissed off because he was a bad dancer?”

She gave him a strained smile back. “No. First song was fine. Second was a slow one. Next thing I know he has his hands down the back of my pants and is trying to jam his tongue in my mouth. I head butted him in the nose and popped a couple of fingers and left. Damn it! I should’ve stomped on the bastard’s foot. Can’t dance on a broken foot!”

“You did fine Tess. Cain’t always think of everything in the moment.”

That “cain’t” was like a ray of sunshine. The Texas twang only came out that strong in moments of high stress or high emotion for Joel. She moved to him to lay her head on his chest. He enveloped her in his strong arms and said “If you need to let it out it’s okay. I need to wash this shirt anyway.”

That did it. She snorted and looked up at his face. “Nah, Texas. I think I got this. Thanks for the offer though. It really means a lot. I know how you feel about your flannel.”

She stepped back and Joel said “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go have a chat with someone about manners.”

“I think I left Billy Ray with enough to think about, don’t you?” She was a little annoyed that he was going to confront the kid after what he’d just said about how she had handled it.

Joel reached out and cupped her chin with his fingers, then gently ran his thumb across her lips and drawled “Darlin’, it ain’t Billy Ray what needs correctin’.” And then he was out the door. She thought about checking her lips for blisters. There was that much heat.

All Joel ever said to her about it was “I think the meeting went well,” but Tess had other sources. Joel hadn’t even tried to find Billy Ray. He’d headed straight to Carl, Robert’s right hand man, and invited him to be the guest of honor at a surprise blanket party in an alley. When the party was over he sat Carl down (he wasn’t standing too well on his own at that point anyway) and simply said “Carl, I heard your boy Billy Ray don’t seem to understand how to treat a lady. We cain’t have that from him, or any of Robert’s boys. Y’all need to make sure that they _all_ have a visit to charm school and learn some manners and the proper way to behave around decent folk, especially ladies. I’m putting you in charge of this. And Carl, if _any_ of your boys _ever_ does anything close to this again I’m going to turn _all_ of you _into_ ladies, starting with you, so’s y’all can all see what it’s like to be on the other side. Do you understand me Carl? Know what you need to do?”

“Yeah Joel. Sure. I got it.”

“Now here we are talkin’ about manners and what I get is ‘yeah Joel?’ Let me ask you one more time _Carlene_ – do you know what you need to do?”

“Yeah… Yes! Yes sir Joel! It ain’t ever gonna happen again. I promise.”

“Good _man_ , Carl. Let’s try to keep it that way.”

Tess was pretty sure, although no one had witnessed that part, that Joel had visited Robert as well that night. Robert didn’t show any outward signs of having received any, uh, hands-on correction from Joel, but that was about the time that Robert stopped sleeping in the same place twice in a row and he seemed to always be on the other side of the room from Joel whenever the pair had their meetings with him.

Last night when they returned from their supply run to their storage tunnel to pick up the pills for today’s drop Tess had invited Joel to come in for a nightcap and, wonder of wonders, he had actually accepted. She usually had to come to his place. She’d poured him a finger of Frida’s firewater and one for herself and they’d toasted with his favorite toast (“I wish this was coffee!”) and tossed back their shots. She set her tumbler on the table, took his from his hand and set it beside its mate. Then she stepped forward, took his hands in hers, looked up into his eyes, took a deep breath and started the speech. “Joel, last month, before you went to your, um, meeting about the Billy Ray thing you called me something you’ve never called me before. And I know that you’re a man of few words, so you pick the ones you use carefully.”

She smiled up at him. “If you really will have me as your “darlin’” I want you to know that I want that, more than anything.” He started to speak, but she placed one finger on his lips and continued. “I know we’re both damaged goods, but we’re surviving in this fucked up world and that’s got to mean something. I know you used to have a life and you’ve had losses.” She moved her hand to cover that broken watch he never took off, mimicking an action she’s seen him make so many times when he thought of… before. “But I had a life too, and plans. I was just starting my senior year of high school when the Outbreak occurred. We were lucky at first, my whole family made it out of Charlotte intact, and together. We ended up in one of the camps in West Virginia. Everything was good until the Spring. I went for a hike in the woods as they were starting to green up. It was so beautiful. I think it was the last beautiful thing I saw - until I met you.” She realized that tears were running down her face and dripping off her chin onto their clutched hands, but had to continue. “While I was on that hike the camp got overrun. Not by infected, but by a band of those evil bastards. Hunters. I watched from the tree line while they held a gun to my father’s head and made him watch while they took my mom and my 12 year old sister and they, they…” She couldn’t say the word. “To death. It took hours. And then they shot him in the head. Probably the only merciful thing they did that day. I have spent 20 years wondering what sins I committed before my eighteenth birthday that sentenced me to live.” She looked back up at his face, what she could see of it through the tears. “Lately I’m thinking it’s because whatever gods might be in charge of this broken world knew that someday I’d be able to meet someone else whose broken pieces fit mine. I know I’m broken. I know you’re broken. I also know that somehow we fit together and make something that can work. Something that can be whole. Something that can… love.”

She rose up on her toes and kissed him. And miracles do happen, because he kissed her back.

Thinking back on it this morning she realized that it may have been the sloppiest and saltiest kiss in the history of kissing. It certainly was in her history of kissing. In the moment it was the most beautiful thing she’d ever experienced. Especially when she realized that not all the tears were hers.

Eventually they had to come up for air. She pressed her face into his chest and he said “it’s okay; I need to wash this shirt anyway.” She didn’t move, she just replied “play your cards right, Texas, and I just might wash it for you.” He laughed and said “boss, we both know who you will delegate laundry duty to, and it ain’t you.”

He put his fingers under her chin and lifted her face. He kissed her forehead, then both eyes and both cheeks, and finished with a lingering, soft kiss to her lips. He pulled back and said “darlin’ – I think I know what you’d like to do next. Hell, I know what I’d like to do next. But I have some demons I need to wrestle with tonight, and I need to do it alone. Tomorrow we’ll make that drop and then we will make that future, okay?”

She closed her eyes, breathed deeply, and said “you’re gonna have to leave that shirt. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep without something of you to hang on to.”

She still didn’t sleep much. The walls were thin, and the wracking sobs from next door were agonizing. She spent the night dripping tearful snot into his shirt. Yeah, she was definitely going to have to wash it. This one time.

He finally bested his demons a little before sunrise. She decided to let him rest and headed off to make the drop. It went well and then she had been jumped by a couple of Robert’s goons on the way back from West End District. She’d handled it, but got a little roughed up in the exchange. Oh well. It had been a good month while it lasted.

So now they had to deal with Robert before they could deal with “making that future,” but when a day starts shitty it can only get better, right? She knocked on Joel’s door and heard him say “I’m coming. I’m coming.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looking at the Urban Dictionary definition of "blanket party" I see that it seems to have become somewhat associated with bashing of the LBGTQ community. I assure you that my use is intended in the original redneck "he needed a whuppin'" sense.
> 
> Sorry it isn't a happy ending.


	2. Regrets - An Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s 100 words. Just wade in, you’ll be fine. Tess, though, not so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We wrote this as one of the possibilities for a TLOU drabble and then realized this one was actually a part of A Better Day Ahead.
> 
> It’s really an optional addition. If you’re already happy, or want Tess to be, maybe you should stop reading now.

Tess listened to the door latch behind her as she turned to face the Capitol Building’s entrance. It occurred to her that the final regret of her life would be that even now she had been unable to use the word to tell the only man she would ever love that it was so. They’d pieced together all their broken bits just to end without any closure. She brought her gun up into the Weaver stance that Joel had so patiently taught her and sent one final, silent prayer: _Godspeed, my love. I’ll buy you all the time I can_.


End file.
